The mom with more than just a 9 to 5

Born Hustler

So I have never been the 9 to 5 type of girl. I mean you could always ask me as a child what I wanted to be and my answer was simple “lawyer” maybe it was my fascination with the beautiful Clair Huxtable or the fact that I was always a talker. I think my family noticed at a very young age that I was a go getter. I would go to my grandpa house in summer and he would take me to Sams Club to buy candy. Lucky me, for being the only grandchild at the time.  So I’d get home with boxes and boxes of candy and invite two or three of the neighborhood kids over to help me sale candy. I was always crafty and creative. I made signs and distributed them around the neighborhood. Even then I wanted to stand out so my candy shop had a delivery service which was just me telling the neighborhood kids get on your bike and drop this and that off to this address. I don’t even think I paid those kids they just wanted to be around me, I was the youngest out the group. Even then I knew that maybe a 9 to 5 or having one hustle just wasn’t for me.

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College

You think that hustle didn’t carry over to college? Well let me tell you it did I had an on campus job working twenty hours a week and taking sixteen credit hours, in a host of activities and I still made the time to do hair on the side. I mean I was doing multiple sew ins a week and staying on schedule with my studies. I don’t know if I was hustling for money or just to have something to do in my free time. Then came sophomore year which opened my eyes to a whole new money scheme. I’d charge people to do their homework, to copy mine or even just to make copies of my text-book. I mean we were all broke in college ninety-nine cent two piece Tuesday at Popeye’s kinda broke. I was a hustler in ever since of the word. So when did I lose my hustle.

The Transition

So after college is over your life is basically in transition there are those who luck up and work in their field and those who haven’t figured out their next move. I was the second type of person just drifting through employers just to make ends meat. Up until I realized that only having one hustle was never for me. I was working at a cell phone company with crazy hours and I had a new-born who I was taking care of by myself. Before the baby and even up to the week I delivered I was working doubles, weekends, driving to different locations just to prove I wasn’t letting anything stop me from getting to the money. Well after baby I had to live a more structured life, like home by 6:30. I was let go from a company I was loyal to. I suffered depression thinking how am I going to get the financial stability to support me and my baby. I live in a city with no family, had no job leads, no nothing.

Spark

Then it dawned on me just cause I had a baby should never stop my hustler mentality. Never let one stream of income be your only income. I didn’t want to invest into a pyramid scheme and annoy people. I wanted to have something or give something that people wanted so they would come to me. After months of looking for a niche I said yo T you love to write and you love Kai. That’s all the niche and motivation you need. Through trial and error I found my way. Now I knew my side hustle didn’t necessarily have to be something lucrative but it had to add purpose to my life. I figured I was tired of logging on to mommy sites and seeing nothing I could relate to or nothing being authentic.

Others

I want to end by talking about other. Now others is not just limited to family and friends but anyone who can be an other. For as long as I can remember people told me to pick career and stick to it. How could pick one thing and only one thing when I feel like I’m a multi talented person? Do you settle or do you step outside the limits. As a blogger I figured I could have both up until i cut out the other. I had to tell myself I’d be damn to leave this earth and not have it all. I wasn’t going to work one job collect benefits and get stuck working for someone all my life just to put on my resume that I’ve been here for 10+ years. So I took control and said I was going to work at a law firm full-time and still manage blogging and motherhood so thats exactly what I’m doing. For others maybe punching in and out is for them but me myself I’m a little to creative to let a 9 to 5 be my only 9 to 5. I’m going to be a mother, cook, writer, photographer, graphic designer and whatever else my heart tells me to be no limits baby. I encourage others who may have a dream to do more to act on it create a plan and just go for it. Failure is still a win because if you failed then you learned. Until next time.

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Fall activity tips (pumpkin picking)

I’m at such peace when I wake up and open my doors to the fall weather. Since moving to the south Fall has been my favorite season. Now that I’m a mom I love decorating and participating in Fall activities with my little one. Over the weekend we visited Blessington Farm and picked out the cutest pumpkins. Below our my tips for pumpkin picking.

1. Wear comfortable shoes that you aren’t afraid to mess up- bring on a farm can be a bit messy I learned the hard way.

2. Pack Snacks- most pumpkin patches have activities and you and little one may be in need of a quick power snack.

3. Choose pumpkin wisely- I always go with our pumpkin crafting ideas in mind so I don’t under buy or over spend.

4. Have fun- from the food to the activities we had a blast.

Blessington Farm is kinda like a tradition for us now this is our third year and we always have a blast. Now that Kai is older he can enjoy a lot of the activities. This was a fun way to welcome in Fall.

5 Tips for Potty Training

Starting potty training is like riding a bike everything you try won’t work. Knowing when your little one is ready is key. Side note I buy his undies at TJMax and Marshalls because you get name brands at an affordable cost.

1. Make little one go when you go- this will build the routine of going potty.
2. Create a potty chart- With a potty chart you can visually see which times your little one typically needs to go potty.
3. Let them be nude- Our little one wear a t-shirt and no pull up and this helps him to know there’s no diaper or pull up to rely on.
4. Look for ques- when little one is quite or is about to grunt you know it’s potty time, as well as kai will hold or grab on to his pull up when potty time.
5. My all time favorite 15 min- to get Kai started we did 15 min in morning and 15 at night to get him familiar with the pot. This way he had no fear or wasn’t impatient and wanted to get off.

Although our toddler is not fully potty trained we are working with him everyday. Bonus tip find something they enjoy a book, toy or iPad and allow them to sit with the item while on the pot. As a parent potty training can be frustrating it will take time. We try not to shame or punish our little one for accidents because we want him to feel comfortable using potty and we are very proud that he will say boo-boo and pee pee.

How did you potty train your little one?

Sudbudz Bath Time, Play Time

Having a toddler can be rough, but try having a toddler boy. My little one loves the outdoors, bugs and especially dirt. So bath time is always a drag. I try to make bath time interesting and fun so special thanks to Sudbudz for this creative toddler bath ball that fizzles. Here are my tips for making bath time play time and how I used Sudbudz to help.

  1. Music- Typically we turn Disney Radio on in the bathroom and connect to the UE Boom.  This relaxes him and helps him catch the beat while scrubbing clean.
  2. Processed with VSCO with hb1 presetToys- Plastic Toys typically can find in the baby bath time aisle at many stores. (Target)
  3. Sudbudz- Ours came in the color blue, when the ball hit the water and fizzled Kai went crazy with happiness and then the water turned a cool blue.

The best part about Sudbudz is that it didn’t irritate Kai’s skin. The packaging was cute had little animals to describe it color ball. The ball was easy to use and left no stains perfect for getting the little one calm for bath time. Sudbudz can be found at Target and online use my VIP code MOMTEA10.

How do you make bath time fun? Drop tips below.

One Year

Wow here we are at one year of blogging. There's so much that has changed, so much has been learned.

THE MISSION
When I first began my blog is was simply to give mothers of color a positive platform of motherhood. Since then my vision has changed to wanting to connect with all mothers and not putting any limits or boundaries on my blog. After about one month of blogging I noticed my audience, who was reading and who related to my stories. All moms and it was beautiful having the bond with woman. I began by show casing Mommy of the Month which gave other moms a platform to tell there story, and guess what Mommy of the Month is coming back September 1st.

THE LESSON
Within the one year I have had content stolen. I mean I run a small blog never would I think someone would steal my angle, my views or my words. It happened which made me slack and I regret not remaining consistent. So I changed things up eventually I just went right back to the drawing boards. I began to take my craft more seriously going to blogging events and conventions just making an effort to get my mojo back. Then came all of the people who wanted to be bloggers and wanted me to work for FREE I'm all about helping others as well as supporting others but blogging, building a site and brand take time. I'm not even where I would like to be before helping out everyone else. Really it was about approach I had so many people asking me about blogging who weren't even serious. Therefore I will pitch ideas to people I may give you all my resources but I will not put myself on hold to help others. The biggest lesson was MONEY. Blogging takes money yes you can start small but you will need to pay for domain, camera layout for your blog and so much more it's an investment. I'll admit I could have spent and invested differently I paid for classes and mentors and things not go as I assumed I mean I got more for google and YouTube. I've concluded that I'm a better learner and go getter then student.

DONT BE AFRAID
I've tried to break the ice with a view bloggers and influencers and really most are one way publicly and totally different behind close doors. I personally am a mommy blogger that's my title I know plenty of fashion bloggers who are moms that assume because I enjoy having a fashionable child that, that's what my blog consist of. If anyone thinks your attempting to steal or copy them Oh it's a wrap, they will attempt to block your blessings. Then came Kenvi also known as @NaturallyKenvi an influencer I followed many years before deciding to blog. We began to support one another from a far to now when we link it's like we have known each other since for ever. She's been more of a mentor giving advice that people would pay a good coin for. It's finally good to meet a Blogger as real and authentic as their Instagram or their blog.

WHATS COMING
I'd be a liar if I didn't have a lot planned for the next year of blogging. Between becoming more consistent and growing there's so much more as well I have to mention. Mommy of the month is back, Ask MomTea will be coming every Sunday but the BIGGEST CHANGE is the name. After September 1st there will be no more momteabytearual.com there will just be themomtea.com. The reason for the change is because when working with Rocky from ItsaRockyWorld her point was valid shorten the name and focus on your niche take yourself out the equation. I'm excited about what's to come even more excited to see my vision come alive. Lastly be prepared Kai's Kloset is on the way, there won't be anymore where did you get this or that from you will be able to come to our new site and throw it in the bag for your little one as well. So cheers to one year of learning now bring on the second year which is the year of upgrade. To all my readers who have enjoyed the tea I thank you for all the support.

I want to thank my friends and family for support and thanks to all the other bloggers dear to my heart: @NaturallyKenvi @KeepingupwithChello big ups to @ItsaRockyWorld with her guidance.

TheMomTea