Here is to 2018

Well if you clicked on this article to read no parts of it is click bait. Wrestling with how to even get things out clearly. How do I muster up the courage to say “I’m pregnant”. This isn’t an old photo its my current reality. Writing has always been my release,my outlet, it began with journals then diaries. For as long as I can remember I’ve been writing.

Well let me be honest I wasn’t going to tell a soul about this pregnancy. I’ll take it a step further most of my friends and family don’t even know. I really had reservations and mixed emotions. I had more anxiety about this pregnancy than with my first. With Kai everything was new I was becoming a first time mom although getting pregnant my senior year of college wasn’t ideal I was determined to prove that I could be a mom. So far I had done just that finished school and all. Then it comes to this unexpected little one.

I don’t want anyone to guess, I’ll explain from my own perspective. I was getting to the point where people would say “Oh will you have more” I’d quickly reply no. Back in August a woman came to me bashing the idea of more children marriage basically everything most woman wish for eventually in life. Once they are settled stable and married. So after that speech I wrote off marriage,love children anything other than career, God travel and Kai.More children where not on my things to do. I was in a place with Kai’s dad where co parenting was making sense we had been together five years and no signs of taking any future steps. So the idea of being a mom of only one was perfect for me and became so happy with knowing I was almost done with terrible two’s. Laughing and bragging to my friends about how I had a big boy now and no longer had to tote around diaper bags.

When I saw those positive results, I was in shock. I asked what am I going to do with a second baby? Like God I have prayed to you been reading religiously how can such happen to me? First thought was Kai like he was my one and only my cuddle buddy, laughing partner my entire world how could me and him adjust from 1-2. God showed me that everything I assumed would be a problem had already been handled. Blessings came left and right within two weeks.

Next I talked to myself like Tearua your finally getting to sleep in on weekends. What are you thinking? Your almost over the wipping butt stage, have you lost your mind? I think I cried for three days. I mean I cried until I couldn’t no more. Can I really love another as much as Kai? How will he feel? what will my future be like with two kids?

Many assured me Tearua your not alone what ever you decide make the choice that you can live with. What no one told me is that, that decision would open so many other questions.

I really feel like a new mommy all over again. This pregnancy is much different from my first or has it been so long that certain things slipped my memory. Will I still know how to swaddle? Will this child be anything like Kai? I mean a lot of things I can’t answer. This is what I can do I can plan ahead as much as I can and knock out all my 2018 goals while Kai is away and I’m still fairly not noticeably pregnant.

Then the very last thing thats been on my mind is my blog. I mean its a hobby that I some times make money from but did I really have to explain this to y’all? Did I owe anyone a explanation? Well thats a 50/50 toss up. With Kai I waited until four months in to acknowledge pregnancy via social media but I wasn’t a blogger then and there was no brand. I had to go back to my blog purpose a platform to show other young moms that motherhood is possible. I may not have all the answers but this is about to be one heck of a journey.

This is what I do know so far anything that can be passed down from Kai will be past down like the crib, any budget cuts and shortcuts will be taken. Ultimately I will not stress this time. I’m not happy or excited but I do have my faith on my side. It may be early to announce could even bad luck but I’m going to be transparent. Maybe this will help someone maybe someone can help me.

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The Baby Factory

When are you having another baby? If I had a dollar for each time that question is asked I’d be one rich momma. Its like once you have one baby then “BABY FACTORY” becomes painted across your forehead.So I guess its time to let the cat out of the bag.

photo credit: eslamoda.com

When I got pregnant with Kai it wasn’t planned. Before we left the hospital the nurses joked “We will see you all next year”. Before having a child I always dreamed of having children back to back so that my kids could be close in age. Then came Kai my adventurous dare-devil, who makes me questioned if I could add-on a brother or sister. How would he adjust? Is he to young? Are we ready? All of these questions and the only one I can truly answer is “Are we ready” yes and no. No matter if you read or take classes the only thing that can prepare you for becoming a mom/dad is the journey I’m not knocking the books or parenting classes they help. I mean Google helps.

So now Kai is approaching two transitioning from baby to toddler, when will his title change from only child to big brother?Well family planning is the route we are taking. I have so many goals to accomplish before adding another bundle of joy. Kai wont be an only child but it will be a few more years of him getting all the perks of being the first-born/only child. The pressure is on with so many of my friends and family expanding, seems like everyone around is going to the double stroller. The decision to have more children shouldn’t be based on the “norm” or planned upon when others think you should have another. If you want a wait a year or ten years in between children do what works for you, everything doesn’t always go as planned. So for now the baby factory is closed until further notice and I will be enjoying the journey of terrible 2’s very soon.

7 Beginner Tips for Couponing

This week we are going to focus on Couponing. I never realized how much I could save by couponing  until it was time to buy diapers.Now I use coupons for everything food, household goods, and even clothes . Here are a seven of my tips and tricks to getting all of our house hold needs using coupons.

  1. Get the news paper. 
  2. Grab Scissors

Now that the easy part is out the way let’s get to couponing.

3. Have something to store coupons in, rather its a binder or a simple folder.

4. Have your shopping list handy- This helps you to know which coupons to look for.

5. Stacking Coupons for online Purchases- this always comes in handy when shopping at Carters. Why not use a 50% off and a 20% off at the same time.

6. Become a member- Rather its Costco, Randall’s or Kroger those points add up and check their weekly ads.

7. Coupon Websites to use: Coupons.com Couponmom.com & Coolsavings.com

BONUS: Get the app 51 Check out, you can gain a percentage of the money you spend back. Drop your Coupon tips below.

The Change

Where have I been? Whats going on? Well I have the answer…..Life. Things happen unexpectedly and being a mom, working full-time as well as being a student. I’m usually very organized and keep up with a strict schedule but between moving and traveling with friends I took a break to get back to TearuaL. The one thing I want to share with readers is about self-image and health.


Before my pregnancy I was in the gym at least three times a week, wasn’t really watching what I was eating or drinking but I was in the gym. I had gained weight due to birth control and recently decided to get off of birth control all together. I had lost my job and health insurance so that was another reason I got off of nexplanon. I had gained nearly 50lbs. So I honestly thought getting off I would get my old body back and be fine for summer 2015. WRONG! One month after getting off of birth control I was pregnant. Yes the doctors told us it would take 18months for my body to regulate and for us to conceive but I guess they were wrong.

I knew that my body would change but during the first trimester I dropped 30lbs. Funny enough I never had morning sickness. I would search the internet for pregnancy workouts, pregnant yoga was eating healthy. Up until late 7months  I didn’t even have much of a bump. I ended my pregnancy 10lbs lighter than I was while on birth control.

Immediately after the birth of my son I breast feed and dropped down to 127, I hadn’t been that small since highschool. Once he turned 10 months I decided to ween him off breast milk and get back on birth control. BIG MISTAKE. I gained weight and began to have more cravings than I had ever had during pregnancy.

So here we are now. I get compliments on my current size but I’m far from healthy. My excuse is usually blaming Mahkai or my busy schedule but now I’m determined to put my health first. Goal is no cheat days for 30 days. I don’t want to say I have a goal weight because my overall goal is a healthier lifestyle in every aspect. I’m not going to take the easy way out, I’m going to meal prep watch what I eat and most importantly workout even if it’s just a walk. The best thing about my healthy life journey will be me saving my coins, confession I spent over $500 this past month on fast food. So with excitement and an extra push here goes me challenging myself to be a better version of myself.