As of right now I am nine days postpartum. My toddler is at his grandparent’s house, my newborn is asleep on the couch next to me, and my husband is out playing basketball with his friends. Our newborn will probably sleep for a while, so I have some real time to myself, which feels…very weird. I’ve been asking myself what I should do with this time. I don’t feel the need to rest, but I also don’t want to burn all my energy on house chores. I’ve had more screen time than I’d like to admit. The thought of sitting down to write has crossed my mind several times, but I keep shutting down the idea.
“What am I gonna say?” I’ve thought to myself, “Everything is going so well, I feel like I don’t have much to talk about.”
Share the bliss.
Right after that thought I realized, that’s exactly why I should write about my experience right now. For some reason, it feels so much easier to write about the hard times. It feels like the good times wouldn’t be interesting for people to read about. I also have a weird tendency to feel guilty when writing about the good things happening in my life. I almost don’t want to share when things are going well just in case someone who comes across it isn’t happy with their own experience at the moment.
But I’ve realized there’s a flip side to that. I think it is actually really important for us all to share our happy moments and the good times in our lives. I think it’s important to shed light on all the different types of experiences we have as humans. I want to share my good postpartum experience to show people that this is a possibility, too, and that motherhood really can be, and is, blissful and so beautiful.
Postpartum. It’s beautiful.
From the moment this baby came out of me I have felt nothing but relaxed and blissful. I know that probably sounds cheesy and exaggerated, but it’s the honest truth. A truth I never expected to experience. As I’ve written about before, my last postpartum experience was borderline traumatic, so I had mentally prepared myself to face uphill battles for the foreseeable future after Lucas was born. I told myself this time could be different, but I still wanted to be prepared just in case it wasn’t.
Maybe it’s because I was bracing myself so hard that these easy moments feel even sweeter. I guess I’ll never know for sure. But it feels amazing. This is what early motherhood is supposed to feel like. This is the feeling I was shown in movies all my life. This is the feeling I was told to expect when I took my first steps into motherhood. This is a feeling that I could happily drown in forever. My spirit feels calm, my soul fulfilled. My heart is exploding with joy.
Soak it in.
Will this feeling last forever? I know it won’t. Probably sooner rather than later life will get harder and crazier. So for now, I’m soaking it in. When I stare at my baby’s *perfect* face and hear my toddler’s small, sweet voice, I don’t have a care in the world. I’ve watched so much TV lately, I’m surprised my brain hasn’t melted. So what? I haven’t done anything that usually makes me feel productive. That’s fine. I have 10 more pounds to lose than after my last pregnancy. BFD. I don’t mind any of it.
Right now, I’m living in this beautiful bubble of baby bliss, and I’ll stay here as long as life will let me.
And that’s the mom tea.